An Open Letter To Jalopnik: Buy My BMW 2002

"El Rocko" (elrocko) 02/26/2016 at 17:15 • Filed to: None

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Dear Jalopnik,

Is there any other vehicle in this space and time that more embodies the Jalopnik-state-of-mind than a perfectly running, faded, rough around the edges, good from far/far from good BMW 2002? NO. The answer is a thousand times no. It is fact that the 1974 BMW 2002 that is sitting in my carport this moment in Tucson, Arizona desires, no, needs, I dare say, demands, to call the people of the great online rag Jalopnik its new owners.

Just imagine the influx of popularity and clicks that would result from a series of posts that Andrew P Collins could assemble as he moves across the country in the car of his dreams, picking up stories, ice cream, and nods of approval along the way. Relish in the potential wisdom that the great Orlove could impart on his loyal followers of the joys of a loose five speed swap, a slow 40 year old 2.0 liter German four cylinder, and rear-wheel drive for days. Take it to the Dyno! watch in amazement as you ponder the realization that you can have this much fun with 50 hp at the wheels.

In this very vehicle I once tied a Ford aspire at a traffic light drag race, it was the loudest and most glorious moment of my driving life. Look, I’m not saying I want to sell this beast of a car, I’m saying that this prime example of German innovation that changed the way we perceive what a car can be, wants to be sold to you, Jalopnik and you alone.

Check your seat cushions! Only 590,000 pennies are needed to give Jalopnik a new car to rally behind. I love this car too much to see it go to some shlurp-a-derp. I want to watch it live on the web for months, maybe years, enchanting the great readers of Jalopnik like no other vehicle could in the hands of such talented writers. Take this idea to your meetings Jalopnik, run it by the bank account. Find it in your hearts to take on a new challenge. Buy this BMW 2002!

Dsscats > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 17:20

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Life would be better if every Craigslist ad was written like this.

E92M3 > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 17:23

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$4,200?

Steve in Manhattan > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 17:28

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Drove my cousin’s ‘76 2002 when it was a few years old. I do not believe I have ever had a more pure driving experience, with the possible exception of an E Type on a lonely country road at night (with no dash lights because Lucas). A 2002 shows you what you don’t need to have fun - they were and are probably the best BMWs ever made.

Leadbull > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 17:29

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BMW 2002

Woke |———————+——| Not Woke

Sorry, Jalopnik is not interested.

sonicgabe > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 17:31

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Paint it orange! This car needs to be orange!

Honestly, I would buy it from you as is, sight unseen, and would pay for it to be shipped to me in a heartbeat if I had the cash on hand right now. If it’s still available later this year, I might be able to. Really. The 2002 is the only BMW that I’ve truly lusted over.

RallyWrench > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 17:32

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Wait, you only want $4,200 for that? I’m on the way. It would join another in my garage, is that worthy?

Steve in Manhattan > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 17:34

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Oh - how much power when new?

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 17:40

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I don’t not want it, but taking a structuralist account of the micro big picture and social totalities, I have to inaugurate a dynamic reward structure contingent on the possibility of a renewed conception of hegemony.

Thus you can see that the rearticulation of power is soley the calcuable discipline by which I can ascertane whether this violates the rational enunciatory modality of this decision.

So I’m happy to articulate the enbarkment of this insemination of the phenomenologically irreducible dyad.

LongbowMkII > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 17:41

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Sorry, Jalopnik is spending too much time wrecking E39s and writing reviews for tarted up rav4s.

El Rocko > E92M3 02/26/2016 at 18:13

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Honestly, I know Oppo shouldn’t be a place to sell cars so feel free to look it up through other channels. I really do want to sell it to the Jalopnik folks. I know it is unrealistic but it sounded like a fun idea in my mind.

E92M3 > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 18:18

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Link please!

DipodomysDeserti > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 18:51

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Shit, if I didn’t have two project cars right now, I’d come down from Phoenix and buy it this weekend.

BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest. > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 02/26/2016 at 19:00

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You should be a politician.

DipodomysDeserti > E92M3 02/26/2016 at 19:02

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Found it.

http://tucson.craigslist.org/cto/5466271293…

vicali > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 19:25

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Jalopnik doesn’t live here anymore, return to sender.. or leave it on the step for Oppo to pick up..

El Rocko > E92M3 02/26/2016 at 20:08

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changed to the actual price of the car. http://tucson.craigslist.org/cto/5466271293…

Bret > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 20:19

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Looks like a good base for a fun project. I had a ‘68 and have always wanted another 02.

If it were a Bavaria, I’d be allover it. I currently have 2 roadsters and a 500 Abarth. I need something I can comfortably fit 4 humans in.

To boost your ad, maybe show a picture of the spare tire well (they are notorious for rusting there) and the shock towers.

El Rocko > Bret 02/26/2016 at 21:18

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good tips, I will do that, at least for the spare. The shock towers have carpet glued to them.

dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford > El Rocko 02/26/2016 at 21:28

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My best offer is $1k. No more than that.

:P

El Rocko > El Rocko 03/14/2016 at 19:31

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Sold to a nice kid (17 years old!) from Wisconsin.